Usually everyone who has a dog calls him Rover or something. I called mine ``Sex''.

Well, Sex is a very embarrassing name and sometimes created some
problems, as I'm sure you can see.

One day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours
looking for that dog. A cop came along and asked me what I was doing
in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said I was looking for Sex.
My court case comes up next Thursday.

One day I went to City Hall to get a licence for Sex. The clerk asked me
what I wanted, I told him I wanted a licence for Sex.
He said ``I would like to have one too!'' When I said ``But this is a dog''
he said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said ``You don't understand.
I've had Sex since I was two years old.'' He replied ``You must have been a strong boy.''

When I decided to get married I told the minister that I wanted to have
Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding.
I said ``But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves
around Sex.'' He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and
bould not marry us in a church. I told him everyone coming to the
wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were married by
the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church.

My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoom. When I
checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for
my wife and myself and a special room for Sex. The clerk said that every room in
the Motel is for Sex. Then I said ``You don't understand. Sex keeps me
awake at night'' and the clerk said ``Me too.'' One day I told my friend
that I had Sex on TV. He said ``Show off.'' I told him it was a contest
and he told me I should have sold tickets.

When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog. I said ``Your Honour, I had Sex before I was married'' and the
Judge said ``Me too.'' When I told him that after I was married Sex had
left me, he said ``Me too.'' Well now I've been thrown in jail, been
married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever gambled for.

Why just the other day when I went for my first visit with the
psychiatrist and she asked me ``What seems to be the trouble'' and I replied,
``Well, Sex has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and it's so
lonely.'' The doctor said ``Look Mister, you and I both know that sex
isn't man's best friend. Why not get yourself a dog.''